Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Reflections on 2004

  • What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Got pulled over by a cop (no ticket, thankfully!)
  • Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? The story behind my New Year’s resolution is a weird one, and the resolution itself was rather lame because it was fulfilled at about 12:38 a.m. on January 1st. I am planning on making a better one next year.
  • Did anyone close to you give birth? No
  • Did anyone close to you die? Myself…“unless a kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies…”
  • What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Contentment
  • What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? December 1st, because it’s the day I became an adult
  • What was your biggest achievement of the year? Working as a full-time summer missionary and succeeding in my new atmosphere at the community college.
  • What was your biggest failure? Every day I failed miserably, falling completely short of God’s perfect standard. At moments I thought I was succeeding, in God’s eyes I was truly failing. Praise be to His marvelous grace that will not let me go!
  • Did you suffer illness or injury? It seems I got sick right exactly at the worst time to be sick every quarter. Something to do with the stress…
  • What was the best thing you bought? My cowboy hat!
  • Whose behavior merited celebration? My faithfully supportive and encouraging friends and family
  • Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own
  • Where did most of your money go? Fixing my car, gas, scrapbooking supplies, clothes, food, gifts, and movies, in that approximate order!
  • What did you get really, really, really excited about? Anything I did with my amazing, wonderful friends
  • What song will always remind you of 2004? “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot
  • What do you wish you'd done more of? Laughing, learning and loving
  • What do you wish you'd done less of? Wanting to cry and not being able to cry
  • Did you fall in love in 2004? Deeper every day
  • What was the best book you read? The Bible of course, followed by many others tied for second. Of books I read for the first time, probably Desiring God by John Piper
  • What was your greatest musical discovery?/new artist for 2004? Big & Rich’s awesome harmonies in “Holy Water”
  • What did you want and get? A cd player for my car and more freedom
  • What was your favorite film of this year? Spiderman 2
  • What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 18, went to a basketball game, and had a surprise birthday in the shop
  • What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Deeper faith in God and His perfect control
  • How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Jeans, t-shirts, and beginning to lean towards skirts and sweaters. Innumerable coats/sweatshirts and any pair of flip-flops that struck my fancy :-)
  • What kept you sane? My God and my family, and some of my friends. The other ones kept me insane, and some did both. :-)
  • What political issue stirred you the most? The presidential election, abortion and gay marriage
  • Who did you miss? Different people at different times
  • Who was the best new person you met? The best completely new person was Jenny Harley, but I also enjoyed renewing old friendships with Jessica Quimby and my “Prom Friends” (as my siblings call them)
  • Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: God knows all my moments--past, present and future--and loves me immeasurably. He wants me to be holy and happy, two things which are NOT mutually exclusive. Only through following His perfect way am I truly happy.
  • Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life!” Daryl Worley

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

So Girlie

Today I get to babysit the Parks! I am so excited! I love these kids and told the Parks that I am more than willing to adopt them if anything should ever happen. For some reason, when I am babysitting them, I just feel right. I've even babysat them for extended periods of time (like over a weekend) and still wasn't tired of it.

One of the reasons I love babysitting them is because they are already developing great character even at 6, 4, and 2. Their parents have been training them in God's ways from birth, and it shines through. No, they're not perfect, but they are so much sweeter, well-behaved, and polite than the products of non-Christian homes that I sit for. Already the Parks kids are being trained in the Biblical roles of men and women. Last week they came over to our house and we played many games with them. One of them was Polly Pockets, but after a couple of minutes Job looked up at us and asked "Is this...very girlie?"

"Well, sort of," Lydia replied. Job wandered off, in search of a less "girlie" pursuit.

Lona, however, giggled to herself and said, "It's girlie!" as a pleased grin spread across her face.

Job and Isaac turned to playing superheroes, and eventually returned to where Lona was. Job began to use his "superpowers" to render her immobile, but Isaac stopped him. "Job!" he said. "We're not supposed to attack Lona, we're supposed to protect her!" What a change from my feministic college courses where we discussed gender influence on children and the policy of giving a child (whether boy or girl) a doll and a car for Christmas. No such politically correct nonsense is going on in the Parks household!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Country Girl in the Big City

I love living in the country. The scenery, the freedom to take long, wandering walks through fields and woods, and the open spaces all are reasons I am glad we live on one acre right between all the major towns in our county. I love that we live on a tree-lined gravel road, and that about twenty dogs and numerous other animals live on this short, dead-end road of 11 houses. I love how the air smells and how all the neighbors grumble when an unsuspecting visitor goes 30 down the road. I am so glad we live out here!

And yet at times I think that I am not a true country girl because of how I love my occasional expeditions into the city. Yesterday I took the train to Seattle with my mom and my two youngest siblings, and I had so much fun! The supposed goal of our trip was some christmas shopping, but we really didn't get much of that done at all. I spent too much time marveling at the sights and sounds to realize that I had shopping to do.

In Seattle, we used public transportation four times, which is four times more than I use it in a typical year! The bus is still something that scares me, and it is one of the reasons I want to take my car to college. But we survived our bus trips, and we even survived walking around downtown Seattle. My favorite part was when we left the mall and major retail area of downtown, and walked a few blocks to Pike Place Market. There was a string quartet made up of college students who were absolutely wonderful! I could have listened to them for such a long time...but there were others in the group than me and I had to leave after they'd played 2 songs.

When I'm on adventures, the artist in me comes to the forefront. I kept finding perfect photos or paintings...in the arrangement of produce at a stand, in how a tree touched the sky, in old little alleys and in the people around me. Oh, how I wished I had brought a camera! Or even someone who could share that simple beauty with me; my siblings were too busy with other things and just looked at me funny when I would say, "Isn't that cool?!?" If you've ever read and understood Wordsworth's poem "Tinturn Abbey," you know what I mean when I say that "in this moment there is life and food for future years."

Friday, December 10, 2004

The Newest Bard(s)

"Jill, you do something crazy every day," my little brother once told me, and it's true! You can never tell what sort of crazy thing I am going to do next.

Yesterday was my last day of school for the quarter! My mom took me out to Mexican food to celebrate and then we went to The College Store in Sehome Village to see if one of the books I need for next quarter was there. It wasn't, and neither was the book my mom was looking for, but I did find the coolest thing I've bought for myself in recent history.

The College Store had an entire shelf of Magnetic Poetry, which are those individual magnetic words you string together to form crazy and random, deep and wise, or just plain interesting sentences. After much deliberation, I chose the Shakepeare version because there are such interesting words in it, and you get to use "thee" and "thou."

Jacob, Lydia and I were all really excited about it and immediately went home and cleared of the top half of our fridge. When Caleb and Audrey got home from school, we were crowded around our fridge, pondering what words of wisdom and nonsense we could form. They both gave us odd looks, and Caleb said one of his characteristic comments about how strange I am. I always tell him it's for his own good. His life would be so dull without me! At least that's what think. He seems to think it would be more sane.

But I digress.

Eventually we had created many gems, and I wanted to share some of the best (& worst) here.

methinks I am drunk (Lydia)

maiden discontent & melancholy thou art lazy (Lydia w/a little input from me)

what manner of grace hath woo'd her (Me)


why dost every belch make woman say farewell (Unknown)

a bosom friend always gives light in ghostly night (Audrey)

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

"Apostle to the Skeptics" and Refreshment to my Faith

Amidst all the insanity of finals week, I have been doing something equally insane. I checked out two C.S. Lewis books from our school library and am attempting to read them before they are due back at the end of the quarter. One is finished, and I am about halfway through the other. My study time has suffered, my sleep time has suffered, but my mind and soul have been so richly blessed!

I love reading C.S. Lewis because he writes the type of books that I cannot just breeze through; I have to take my time and digest each sentence. And because it takes longer, I get much more out of it. He is the type of author who makes me go "huh?" and shows me how my faith makes sense. I never saw Christianity as so beautifully logical before I began reading his books. I also never saw it as so full of joy and beauty.
I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy. C. S. Lewis

The beautiful logic that I see has encouraged my faith and given me boldness. My faith is not simply blind faith; God has left incredible evidence for His existence, "so that men are without excuse."

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning. C. S. Lewis

And I have even learned things about my writing.

Don't say it was "delightful"; make us say "delightful" when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers "Please will you do the job for me." C. S. Lewis

His fiction (The Space Trilogy, Chronicles of Narnia, Til We Have Faces) can send chills down my back and transport me to worlds I never knew I always imagined. His satire (The Screwtape Letters) can make me laugh...and then ponder my life and sins. No, he's not perfect, and no, I don't agree with every idea. But I have learned so much about my God and my faith that all the wasted sleep and lost study time are worth it.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Surprised?

...not really. :-)

My mom was so insistent that I wasn't allowed to have a party for my eighteenth birthday that I was almost sure she was trying to throw a surprise party. Then on Thursday night my family started getting weird. OK, so they're already weird (aren't all families?), but they managed to get weird-er. I'm a pretty smart girl, so I was able to figure out exactly when and where the party was going to be. The only thing left to surprise me was who was invited, and even that didn't surprise me much.

A family from our church came over "for dinner" and then my sister and the two oldest girls in that family took me to my room with strict instructions to keep me there. People began arriving and were ushered through the house and out the back door to the shop. My dog even started barking and everyone began shouting different things. Some said it was the neighbor boy, others said it was our little sisters ringing the doorbell. Uh-huh.

Finally my dad came down and said, "Do you girls want to watch us play ping-ping?" Yeah right Dad. There's a bunch of people out there and they're all going to yell "SURPRISE!" and embarrass me, etc, etc. But I played along. I seriously considered saying, "No, I don't think I want to go watch you guys. It's too cold and I'm really tired. In fact, what I really want to do is sleep." Oh, how that would have made them panic. Already the three other girls were practically hysterical from giddiness.

I did make them freak out just a little more by taking forever to find a jacket that matched my shirt. I tore our laundry room, coat closet, my brother's closet and my closet upside down until I finally found one that would "have to do." By this time they were basically dragging me out the door.

Everything went just as I predicted. I seriously think it would have been almost impossible for them to actually surprise me.

There were a lot of people there and I felt like the whole thing went so quickly. I didn't even get a chance to talk to everyone, which made me kind of upset. Oh well, I guess I'll have to talk to them later. I felt like the proverbial butterfly, flitting from conversation to conversation. Even still, I had fun. The worst thing was Mom making me open my presents with everyone watching. It felt like a baby shower or something, and I just felt really uncomfortable. I got so much stuff! The next day it took me a long time to put it all away. But the best present I got was a single red rose from my "grandparents." I had been hoping I would get a rose, and it almost made me cry because I knew that my grandma had known how much I love roses. It sits on my desk, reminding me of how much they love me and how well they know me. I'm about to cry just thinking about it!

God has given me such awesome friends. His love for me is so apparent through their love for me. I am so grateful that I get to spend this next year with them!

Friday, December 03, 2004

Life as I Know It

Life gets so crazy sometimes.

I meant to post a deep, reflective blog on my eigthteenth birthday--my"entrance to adulthood"--but I never had the time. With finals so quickly approaching and so many other things calling for my attention, I never got time enough to post.

Then yesterday, my car broke down. Again. I had gone to pick up some carseats from a woman I babysit for, and, on my way back to the college, my car started doing funny things. I called my dad and he told me to park somewhere and get my mom to follow me over to his shop. So I got to the college parking lot, and it died right there. There were no parking spots anywhere close, so I went off in search of help. Two of my friends from church helped me (big thank you to Aaron and Nathan if they ever read this, which is unlikely) and we pulled one of their cars out and then pushed my car into the spot. It sat there all night, and sometime today it was hopefully towed to my dad's shop. I checked at 10:30 and it was still there, but I'm hoping it's been towed by now. I feel so helpless without my car!

I've also been really busy with schoolwork...it seems like everything comes to a peak at finals week and then it drops off into nothing and I don't know what to do with myself. Hopefully that will not be the case during this break: I mean to do many productive things with my precious four weeks of "free" time. Like applying for scholarships. Ahhh!!!

My application to The Master's College was sent off in mid November, and now I'm eagerly checking the mail for a reply. My mom has strict instructions not to open anything on Master's stationery, "lest she die." I can hardly wait to get one step closer to actually going! It's so exciting...and terrifying at the same time. I am so grateful for my belief in God's sovereignty. If I didn't have that to hold onto, I'm sure my perfectionist, oldest child, I've-got-everything-under-control nature would go completely insane!

Such has been my life for the past week, and I am so grateful for the change that is sure to come. I'm about done with all this stress!