Monday, January 31, 2005

God's Provision

OK, so you guys all already know this (I hope), but I just wanted to reaffirm it here: God is AWESOME!!

Went to Andy and Heather's wedding on Saturday. I've been looking forward to it for a long time, but I've also been dreading it. I know that weddings have the tendancy to prey on your emotions, so I'd been really praying that God would give me grace to make it through with my heart intact. I did...and with pizzazz! I danced for so long and had an awesome time with friends.

And then it was over.

And I went home to ponder, reflect, and get very, very near to tears. But God won out! Today as I was in my car listening to yet another country love song, I decided that was enough of that, and I put my newest cd in. It's called "She Must & Shall Go Free" by Derek Webb http://www.derekwebb.com It's a lot about the love story of Christ and the church, and it was exactly what I needed! I am going to do a long post sometime, complete with lyrics and deep thoughts, but I don't have time now. I just wanted to say it again: God is FAITHFUL!!

Friday, January 21, 2005

Back on Track

Hallelujah--Friday at last! This has been a great week, but I'm so glad it's over. Now to buckle down to my big project for the weekend....my President's Scholarship application.

One of the reasons this week has been so awesome is that I made a resolution to really get back into the deep study of the Word. I had been doing just a token reading and then pushing it out of my mind to make room for all of the other facts that need to fit in there. But I realized that this was very detrimental to my spiritual health, and resolved to take more time and really meditate on the truths I learn. I bought a new journal (which is highly motivating for someone who is captivated by paper), and enlisted a friend to ask me if I'm staying in communion with God. And my life has been so fantastically blessed because of it! From simple things, such as having more energy, to the important, like the strength to resist temptation, I have seen my everyday life become better.

When my dad was in highschool, he read his Bible every night. But during the day, he was most definitely not following God's ways. As I contemplated this story, I realized that I was the same way. I read my Bible purely for head knowledge, while throughout the day my life was ruled by self. But God is so faithful to draw me back to Himself. Praise be to His grace that will not let me go!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

New (Exciting) Blog!

Hey everyone...just wanted to tell you that Audrey has joined the blogosphere! Check it out at www.aab3.blogspot.com

Friday, January 14, 2005

Procrastination

School has once again started and once again I have a million things to do and once again I don't want to do any of them! Argh! Procrastination is my worst failing when it comes to school and I find myself ending up with more stress because I won't just buckle down and get a head start on my three huge essays that will all be due on the same day. I can already see myself at the end of quarter, walking around campus bleary-eyed with a gargantuan sized coffee in my hands.

Here I am again, doing more procrastinating...anything, ANYTHING to get my mind off the homework I should be doing. "It's not due til Tuesday" the devil on one shoulder keeps telling me. But I know from much experience that if I give in, I can't enjoy the things I have planned to do on this three day weekend. So, *sigh* I'm off to tackle the world of home work.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

My Christmas Blessing

I've begun to get a somewhat skeptical attitude towards Christmas. I used to be so excited around Christmastime, but in the last two years I have become jaded about the over-commercialization of Christmas. This year I was really fighting it, trying to always keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas. But it was such a constant struggle.

Finally our Christmas festivities were almost over, and we went to visit extended family near Seattle. I was so tired and didn't join into all the games and fun as much as usual. And I got a new viewpoint, like I was looking at my family from the eyes of an outsider. Sitting back and simply observing, I realized what a great gift family is. There were relations there that we could barely claim as relatives, but all of the people from their various backgrounds came together through the odd gift of family. I curled up in a corner of a couch near the fire and watched cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings, parents, and grandparents discuss many things as the kids tumbled everywhere. We talked about theological issues, philosophical issues, and who the various babies looked like.

I've felt kind of lost at times as the oldest child of the fourth living generation of our family...almost as if I was lost between generations. Some of the cousins in my dad's age group are only 7 or 8 years older than me, and the three next youngest to me are all my siblings. But I realized that, no matter how "lost" I sometimes felt, all of these people love me so much more than any other people in the world, and will continue to do so. Friends may come and go, but family...you're stuck with them forever. What a blessing!